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The Pregnancy Diaries

on November 11, 2012

I’m annoyed I have not blogged more consistently throughout my pregnancy.  I’m 36 weeks now and I had/have so many random things to share.  Now my baby will have nothing to read when she is in her 30s about how cool I was, epic fail on my part.

Reality check #1 I could have a legit baby next week that is full term. Hello.

Reality check #2 I could write a whole blog about hemorrhoids, I’m thinking children’s book in the near future. Hotness.

Its been a crazy ride, I continue to throw up as if it has become a silly joke I play on myself and I hands down, no lie, forget what it is like to be “normal” and what my body was like pre-pregnancy.  Its fascinating and depressing.  I read a post on a “freinds” Facebook page (remind me to delete loser-heads) that was all “I looooove being pregnant, it’s so amazing.”  Not only did I want to kill her and her unborn baby (I just went really dark on ya’ll) but I considered her dumb for using multiple “o’s” which is not okay people.  The ultimate reason this was not ok on my part??  I, myself, often, and consistency, use multiple vowels in text messaging.  Shame on me for being a Pot (that called the kettle black).

Is it ok  to NOT like being pregnant?  Who makes this decision.  I do.  That is who suckers. Me. And I’ll be honest, I’m done. I had a come to Jesus talk with Stella (my baby in utero) that she needs to shape up or ship out, I’m pretty sure she is going to decide on shipping out, in aboooout 3 weeks or so.  I’ve got the stereotypical pregnancy waddle and it aint ok sweetie pie.

My baby is the best.

Way better than the other babies at the midwife place I’m gonna give birth.  Doing it sans drugs, with incense and lots of chanting.  Not really, but sorta.  They have us going to these baby classes and I find them entertaining, annoying, informative and a complete waste of time all rolled into one big ball of pregnancy hormone.  I do not care if I moan during sex, if I moan like I see in those natural childbirth videos I told Jared to kill me, or laugh in my face with a pointed finger.  That said, I’m probably going to be laughed at. Oh but pay back is a bitch, while I”m naked in all my glory that man will be putting on scuba gear and getting in the pool with me. What What!  See what revenge type things I have to work with while pregnant. Pathetic.

I have tried to stay consistent with running, but after I did the Epic Relay I could not run, my body was like hells to the no fat handicap lady.  Instead I took one or two trips to the gym and did some circuit and weight exercises.  Did that for a few months than for the past month or so have made laying on my couch watching The Voice my biggest adventure.  Luckily because I”m on this new vomit diet I have only gained 14 pounds!!!  Barf.   I do sometimes walk the dreaded mall for exercise sometimes, which sounds really weird and what old people do but it keeps me busy and since this summer was a shit show (hot) it cooled me off.

Annoyance of the month: People who shop at Hot Topic.

So besides being obnoxiously positive, outwardly, to people (blogging makes all my inner demons come out for some reason), I’m ready for a solid 72 hours of labor to come asap.

Oh and if you really want a good laugh until next time: We got a puppy.  I’ll let that one simmer.

Vitamins: Fish Oil (started this back up recently, not sure why I stopped), Pre-natal, did a stint on probiotics then got pissed with the price

Eats: Ha ha

Exercise: as of late, moving my weights into the living room and doing deep squats and holding them


3 responses to “The Pregnancy Diaries

  1. the best advice i can give you, having two children with very very different births is….

    your child will not love you anymore for being in pain in childbirth, or love you any less for having an epidrual.

    do what feels right to you, you will know what is right. trust yourself!!!

    and, when you get to the point where you say, “i can’t do this, i just can’t”….it is almost over!!!!

    best of luck!!!! the best part is holding the baby covered in your internal goo and feeling the most joy you will ever feel in your entire life. savor the joy!!!!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    hurry up Stella I’m tired of your mom being pregnant.

    And there you go–I made it about me now 🙂

    But seriously, I wanna run/go to bootcamp/bitch about Adam with you sooooooooooon!!

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